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Are you looking for a little motivation in your life?
Or how about some inspiration or affirmation?
I would like to be totally honest with you right now. I am too. Seriously, which is why I’ve written this lovely post for you.
My goal is to help you in whatever way I can to be successful in your life. But first, what I’m talking about does not have anything to do with money. Well, maybe a little bit.
But if you find yourself here and you’re feeling a little down, maybe the winter weather is causing a small case of the seasonal affective disorder (a little depression). Or maybe something else is affecting you and you need a pick me up.
I’m there with you.
Let me tell you, I’ve been struggling lately. Struggling with my expectations. I’m a very type A personality and like things to be perfect and in their order and of course, to work out how I want them to.
But I have to face the fact that most of life does not work that way. At least not for me. If you ask my husband he will tell you my expectations for things and situations is sometimes utterly ridiculous. Like I demand perfection or my entire day could be ruined.
I recently started writing novels. Within the past year and I self published two already, and I should feel wonderfully excited at what I accomplished.
But you know what, I feel fear, self doubt and anxiety.
My dream is to be a successful author and blogger and for some reason I got it stuck in my head that somehow this would happen overnight.
Like who has overnight success? Rarely anyone, and I realize this, but I still have this internal clock that’s rushing me towards it at such a frenetic pace it’s hard to keep up with.
How many of you feel me right now?
Are you like me, you place so much on your goals and dreams and you want it to happen so badly it causes you such stress in your life and starts to interfere with everything?
Well then friends, keep reading because I want to share with you what I’ve learned in this journey of mine that started about a year ago.
The Road To Success Is Paved With Obstacles (and Potholes)
Rewind my life about a year. I’m working full time and trying to squeeze in a bit of writing here and there to hit maybe a word count of at least 1000 words every day. I hadn’t yet started blogging but the thought had crossed my mind.
Working tirelessly every day, every weekend, every waking moment, I finally finished the first book I’d ever completely finished. Whoo, hard work done.
Wait. No it’s not.
Now come the revisions, the editing, the realization that my work was not perfect to begin with as much as I wanted it to be.
Have you ever started something, poured your heart into it and then come to realize that your work is not yet done, not perfected? Yes. Shake your head with me now.
My first inclination was to wallow in a large hole of anger and self-doubt. But what good would that do? Not much, trust me because I stayed in the hole for a short while.
So what can you do to pick yourself up, to get yourself back on track?
Set Attainable Goals.
You see, that was my first problem. My goal was set much too high. Set more as an end goal--ongoing goal, than something I could attain quickly.
When you reach too far, when you set your goals to high, you put an undue amount of stress on yourself and an unrealistic time-table.
Instead, set a small goal, a mini goal, if you will that’s a step towards your main goal. And then use something like a bullet planner. I like this one. It has a few choices of colors, the blue being my favorite. And it even comes with emoji stickers.
Then, when you’re done, you can cross it off and head towards the next goal that’s another step closer to your larger goal.
You’ll feel much less stressed this way and more like you indeed are accomplishing something.
Reevaluate How You Measure Your Success.
Everyone desires success. Let me say that again. Everyone desires success.
If you shook your head no and don’t think you do, trust me, your lying to yourself.
What I thought at first, when I started out on my writing journey was that I will only be successful if I have X amount of page views on my blog. And then with my book if I have X amount of sales will I be successful.
This type of measure lead to an awful lot of stomach eating stress for me, not to mention it rolled over into other areas of my life, and started affecting my family.
Now why did I decide I would only measure my success if I was a best selling author immediately? Why did I stress myself out thinking this?
Well because I had ridiculous expectations. I realized, deep in the cortex of my brain that I would not be an overnight success, but I still felt that overwhelming disappointment when I wasn’t.
Even though it was irrational and misplaced, I then drove myself to work harder, to get more words written in a day. To post more blog post, edit more pictures, update my Facebook a million times, update Instagram, and the list goes on.
Have you felt yourself get that way?
It then led to guilt when I would take a break to play with my kids, or spend time with my husband because I felt like if I took time from writing I would never be good enough.
But then it turned into a vicious cycle of guilt between not writing and guilt between not spending time with my family.
There came a point though, a breakthrough. This journey, whether it be life, or writing, or whatever it is you want to accomplish, is a long road.
Such a simple thought. Life is a long road.
And If you can realize this (trust me, I know it’s hard), then it takes a lot of stress off your shoulders by allowing you the time to take the journey to attain success.
In the end if you have attainable goals, and you realize your one major goal, where you want to end up is a little ways away but your doing your best to head there, then go ahead and take a small break--spend time with your loved ones. They won’t always be there, so make time for them too.
When An Obstacle or Setback Comes Your Way, Find Yourself Growing and Overcoming.
Like I mentioned earlier, the road in life is not a straight course. Sometimes there are setbacks, whether it be money, health, relationships, lack of a job, you name it.
What is your first reaction when you’re faced with one of these obstacles? Do you run in fear? Do you languish in a deep pool of depression?
Or do you learn and grow and eventually overcome? (This one should be the correct answer, but it is the hardest to learn to do)
I’ll tell you that in my life, it seems that obstacles are constantly thrown at me. Raise your hand if you feel the same because I’m right there with you in this fight.
This also has been a tough and repetitive lesson for me to learn and I’m not always 100% on board with going straight to the whole ‘growing and learning’.
What do you do then, you ask?
Well, the thing is, you should start slow. Just like setting smaller goals in relation to the bigger one, start with a small step of realizing how you react when something you didn’t expect is thrown your way.
If your a writer, an artist, a creator and you poured your heart out into something and didn’t get the result you wanted, if your first inclination is to start telling yourself you’ll never make it, you need to pause. Take a breath and realize it’s just an obstacle on the road to where you want to be.
Take a look at why it didn’t turn out as expected. Why someone didn’t like what you had made as much as you thought they would.
Then you can work on it again from the perspective of learning, of bettering yourself, instead of thinking of it because you think you’re horrible and no one likes what you create.
If there was nothing difficult you faced in life, how would you ever say you learned anything?
How would you ever be able to help anyone without having experienced something like they have and made it through on top?
Growth takes overcoming potholes in the road of life.
What To Take Away Today
Your journey in life will not have any set rules that cannot be changed. There is no one correct way to do your journey.
What’s important is that you remember to keep striving towards your goals, but set small attainable goals in your travels to your larger one.
Remember when obstacles are thrown your way, take a moment and breathe. Take a small step forward instead of a step back.
Keep pushing forward always and working towards learning and you will be able to overcome and keep yourself less stressed than if you constantly focus on the past and the negative things in your life.
As always, much love to you and I hope I have helped you in your expedition through life.
Please email me. I’d love to know your story and what ways you remember to keep working towards your goals.
If there’s something bugging you, I’d love to help. Just give me a shout.